Fashion: The Onesie Era

21 Nov

Since the clock struck 00:01 on the 1st January 2010 we were left with a conundrum: what decade are we in? ‘The Tens’ sounds peculiar compared to ‘The Twenties’, ‘Thirties’, ‘Forties’ and so on.. don’t you think? So, I propose we shall call our current era – The Onesies. Why? Because of the inclusion of the number one in every year and secondly because we have all gone MAD. This new found fashion fad is bonkers. Baby grows for adults – why, oh, why?

onesie

After months and months of resisting to step foot in these monstrosities, I finally gave in to the pressure. What is this all about? I had to know.

My boyfriend works in a primary school and his task for Children in Need was to wear PJ’s to work. As he only wears very short shorts for bed, it would be highly inappropriate to send him off in his actual bed-time attire. So, we head on down to Primark to buy some cheapy-cheap PJ’s. He ends up buying I end up buying him a Christmassy onesie for the event.

As I work from home I never get invited to do these fun sort of things *cue sympathy music* so I decided I would have my own onesie day at work (home) too. The women’s collection was all far too long for my vertically challenged self so I made my way to the children’s section. Here, I found this aged 13 Daisy Duck onesie, complete with feet, bows and a hood, and in my favourite colour of the moment – pastel blue. For only £9.00 I thought I’d see what the hype was about.

Pastel Blue Daisy Duck Onesie

DSC00036

Daisy Duck

The verdict: They are literally the most un-flattering, un-forgiving and un-sexy things ever created. I look like a huge, hairy baby, and it’s somewhat odd, off-putting and slightly creepy.

Would Kate Middleton or Audrey Hepburn wear a onesie? No, of-f*cking-course-not but my are they snug! You know those hungover, all-I-want-to-do-is-eat-sh*t-watch-come-dine-with-me-in-bed-and-speak-to-nobody kind of days? This is when the onesie shines bright.

You won’t look good, fact, but when you’re going through the post-alcohol anxiety dip and find yourself in a complete depressive pool of headaches, nausea and guilt, looking attractive is the least thing you care about and a onesie just gives you a massive big hug to tell you all will be well in time.

It’s like a custom-made sleeping bag that you never want to get out of. It’ll keep you all warm when you’ve got the hangover shivers and you can literally hide yourself away for however long it takes you to re-coup.

If you’re in your first few months of your new relationship DON’T LET YOUR BOYFRIEND SEE YOU IN ONE!  My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and it looked like it could all come crashing down when he saw me in a onesie. If your boyfriend does see you in one and he passes no judgement – you have yourself a keeper my friend. If he can love you in a onesie, he can love you for a lifetime*. 

Onesies are the very embodiment of the comfort vs style debate – 100% comfort, 0% style. As a fashion writer can I really be writing about the latest and greatest looks whilst I’m sat in baby getup? I feel like a traitor.

For the sake of my relationship, and the fact I look more Kerry Katona than Princess Kate, I’m not sure whether I will adopt my new outfit as my everyday uniform but for the mornings after the nights before, I will always be going to Daisy for a hangover hug.

Have you got a onesie? What do you think?

*Although if he ever says you look sexy in it – be very concerned. The definition of a onesie is: ‘A one-piece garment for an infant or small child, generally worn over a nappy.’ – So sexy it is never!

~x~

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2 Responses to “Fashion: The Onesie Era”

  1. carmen gloser January 29, 2014 at 5:18 pm #

    Not so long ago I saw on the tv a lady coming home from from work put herself in a big baby’s elasticated rompers with suspenders in a blue coton,she looked beautiful!,So I manages to get myself done a very short baby’s romper elasticated on the legs and with suspenders in a faux black leather,,Wich I put on a soon as I arrive.People coming to my appartement and seeing me dressed up with it,said that I was very feminine and sexy!

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    […] on the trend, and everyone from Cheryl Cole to Brad Pitt has been seen proudly sporting their adult rompers out in public. They have come a long way from the early prototype that was known as a […]

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